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A Letter To Drug War Supporters: What Are You Smoking?
Here’s a letter I just wrote to the Michigan Daily concerning U.S. Drug Policy. I don’t know if it will or should be published, but either that’s why I’m putting it here. By the way, Hash Bash at Michigan is sort of a joke now-a-days, it really deters from anything resembling a social or political movement—it is nothing but a peanut gallery display for undergraduates to “experience” while they wait for their six-figure jobs. Anyway…
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The Various Works of Michel Gondry
With the frightening lack of genuine material being generated by American popular culture, these videos helped restore my faith in artistic expression.
Let Forever Be - Chemical Brothers
Around the World - Daft Punk
Sugar Water - Cibo Matto
Excerpt From “O Shit: A Survival Guide About What to Do When You Realize The Government’s Gone Sour”
If you ever find yourself in a situation were you can’t find your body, don’t worry, you’re not dead—you’re just in a sensory deprivation tank at a classified “black” site. For those readers who know nothing about the information extraction “technique” of sensory deprivation by tank, the victim is first tranquillized, covered in a desensitizing gel, placed in a wet suit and then suspended in a tank of water with oxygen. When the damned regain consciousness, they do not receive any sensory input—they see, smell, touch, taste, and smell absolutely nothing—and due to this minor alteration in brain activity, their brain will put these neglected regions to use in completely new ways, creating a super-introverted reality. This introverted orientation allows simple thoughts (i.e. Am I dead?) to become immense encyclopedic realities of their own. A direct consequence of this unknown, dynamic restructuring of brain activity is a massive surge of anxiety, which then compounds upon itself causing the victim’s very thoughts, and therefore their newfound sense of reality, to collapse inward in an unimaginable, subjective hell.
Why Hillary Will Be King
This poem was inspired by the beautiful Italian Poem “I Shitteth on Thou”:
It’s probably not because she’s married to America’s “First Black President”
It’s probably not because she fits in at a gay parade
It’s probably not because she’s a woman
And it’s sure as hell not because she’s all ‘bout the family
So why will Hillary Clinton win?
I mean who votes for a woman so bent on becoming the epitome of sin?
Like Dubya before her she stands for something… well at least something else
A change of pace?
A different dynamic?
A new door?
NO!
Worthwhile Campaigns
Ever since the rise of the conservative “backlash” in the 1980’s, which has brought America such polarizing campaigns against abortion, gay-rights, and the separation of church and state, patriotic Americans have continued to lash out against the moral decay that is corroding the soul of this country. I recently encountered the newest “push” while driving on a highway to a small-town called Norfolk, NE.
Child of The Corn: A Midwestern Perspective
In the context of an ever globalizing society, the gravest threats to the stability of the American public often go unnoticed in the digital bazaar, creeping silently into our very homes and ruthlessly smothering all that we hold dear as Americans while we dream our sweet, sweet dreams. From Bin Laden to Zawahiri, the list of notorious enemies continues to blossom in the dark depths of this decaying world; now the greatest threat to our prosperity and happiness has emerged, one that is poised to rip the social fabric of this very nation apart at the seams. As a result, our society will be plunged into a chaotic, primordial wasteland that would leave Thomas Hobbes stating simply, “Damn!” I’m speaking of course about Harry Potter.
about the author
Jeff May Born on the back-half of a banjo solo during a rather combustible Tampled By Turtles barn fire, Jeff has long been known as “that guy that makes you finally stop feeling insecure at a concert because he seems ssooo ridiculous”. Jeff has spent years refining his repertoire of concert moves/characters/and mannerisms while working as a freelance concert go’er/reviewer. Says the modest Mr. May of his skillz: “One time, I had a ninja fight with a fellow carrying a penguin and suddenly I became the mover of the concert’s collective unconscious”. His friends Alex Taylor and Bryan Klausmeyer seem to concur with his self-assessment—in fact, they both used the exact same words to describe JayMay. “He’s a self-infatuated dick.” --Alex Taylor; Bryan Klausmeyer.
Jeff’s first project, “O Shit: A Survival Guide About What to Do When You Realize The Government’s Gone Sour”, was praised as “a breakthrough in political satire that should be silenced” by The Wallstreet Journal and is currently on bestseller’s lists in every country except the U.S., where, it is being heavily boycotted by Walmart, The Christian Fellowship League, and-- of course-- the ACLU. When asked recently what he is working on next by Gregg May, an entertainment editor for THE LANCE, May responded simply with “Cicada Symphony”.