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Street Sweep Contest!
So we all know that the Velvet Howler has pretty much everything you could want in an online mag.. insightful wit, celebrity bashing, bizarre current events, and hot editors…
But one area where we’re sorely lacking is fashion. Sure, we could do what other mags do and tell you what is cool based solely on our staff’s opinions, but as you might have guessed, we’re not that kind of mag. So we decided to rely on some input from our readers to get our fash on.
The Velvet Howler Supports G.I. Spears
While other mags purport themselves as being on the cutting edge of fashion, Velvet Howler makes good on its promises. We’re on the very cusp of style, and that cusp is bald as a baby’s ass.
Worst Ever, Installment #1
Some people are magnets for money, some for opportunity, some for venereal disease. Me? I was born with a propensity for finding the worst things ever, via the internet. And if nine years of Catholic schooling taught me anything its “don’t hide your light under a bushel.” Thus begins my weekly installment of the worst the internet has to offer.
Paris Hilton Exposed! or, When celebrities don’t pay their bills.
What happens when celebrities forget to pay the bills on their storage unit? Well, in Paris Hilton’s case, their stuff is no longer their stuff and gets auctioned off to the highest bidder. Sure, we’ve all seen the Paris Hilton sex video (you know, the one were she looks like one of those noctournal rain forest mammals with reflective eyes?), but the stuff offered on www.parisexposed.com promised material that would make that video look like an episode of School House Rock. Sadly, the site has been shut down (temporarily?) due to charges filed by Paris and some of her cohorts. Its unclear whether or not subscribers (the site required a 40$ monthly subscription) will get their money back. Hopefully, the whole thing will get cleared up soon. Until then, here’s what I could find.
Read more on Paris Hilton Exposed! or, When celebrities don’t pay their bills….
Lindsay Lohan Does Crack/Yoga
For us plebians, it might not take much for us to admit we have a problem. Perhaps we miss work because we drink too much, or our grades drop, or our friends just pull us aside and say, “You’re face is covered in crack.” But for celebrities, admitting you have a problem just isn’t that easy. Take Lindsay Lohan for example. It wasn’t until January 5th that her friends and family finally planned an intervention to deal with her substance abuse problems. Why did they finally break down and confront her?
Not So OKCupid
In the last few years American culture has become inundated with dating websites. It’s hard to get through any televised dating show without seeing a commercial for Truematch, or EHarmony (the creepy factor of which was best pinpointed by a friend who decribed them as Grandma talking about Grandpa in bed.) My housemate recently got a job at OkCupid, and part of the job entails him taking down user images that have been flagged as offensive. Lucky me, and lucky you. Surely the technological advances in photoeditting can help even the most repugnant of losers seem attractive to someone (myspace angles, anyone?)
about the author
Alayna Frankenberry