The Apple Keynote to Come
Steve Jobs will say why the old netbook market was a bad investment, and what problems need to be addressed in a three or four item item list. Maybe one of those items will be an actual problem with netbooks. It doesn’t really matter.
Then he will unveil Apple’s new netbook which has all the things on the list and will replace the white plastic Macbook as a low price point laptop. Features will include no ports, save a headphone jack. The keyboard will be replaced by a giant secondary touch screen. Interestingly, this MacNovella (as I have confirmed the new product is called) will run the entire Nintendo DS game library and share a very similar form factor.
It is revealed the MacNovella is formed by a process involving coral and Zoroastrianism, which explains the Queen music that was playing in the hall before the press event began. It will be made out of highly recyclable wax paper and Adamantium.
Apple’s stock will initially rise at the announcement of Job’s new economic stimulus package to save the world economy, but will fall at the news Apple has no plans to release the Tesla wireless power transfer system promised by unnamed sources.