I shit you not- French environmentalists have concocted a way to produce electricity from fermented poop. Cow poop in particular is the environmentalists’ anticipated source of renewable energy, taking into consideration that there are currently 20 million cows in France. It is estimated that with the number of cows in France, the amount of electricity that can come from one cow and with the amount of electricity that the French use in a year, cow poop electricity (or le biogaz) could account for a staggering 1.6% of all French electricity. Of course, biogaz can also come from the poop of other animals. What really makes le biogaz a breakthrough is that it has the potential to eliminate the need for fossil fuels (in the distant future when the process is perfected) in the production of electricity. The poop method emits no carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. But how is this miracle of science possible and from what did these environmentalists get their inspiration? Well I’ll tell you!

Imagine if you will, more than 3.5 billion years ago when the first organisms (prokaryotes) on Earth made their harrowing journey through the primordial ooze. The atmosphere at this point in history had no oxygen. The prokaryotes used carbonic gas and hydrogen, making oxygen and methane. When autotrophes hit the scene, they put a lot of oxygen into the atmosphere. For the descendants of our little friends the first prokaryotes, the air became unbreatheable. They fled to other spaces and eventually ended-up in the digestive systems of animals. Animals live in symbiosis with these little critters as they aid in the digestive process.

To make le biogaz, poop is fermented in an oxygen-free cistern to create methane gas. When burned, the methane can be converted into electricity. It’s as simple as that.

So the next time you take a dump, consider its creative potential and put it to good use. Global warming ends with you!